As my 10th day as a Tennessee Titans Fan in Denver comes to a close, I have been both reflective and contemplative intellectually – think Collin Kaepernick’s lower body with Einstein’s upper body except with The Rock’s arms instead of Albert’s obviously because my brain doesn’t have embarrassingly small ‘ceps. I’ve been thinking about if Denver would be able to support two NFL teams full time.
It’s been pretty easy to be both a Broncos and Titans fan for the last ten days. Plus since you can mix and match favorite teams like New York does with the Giants and Jets it would be even easier to have a city like Denver support two teams.
As bad as the internet is for talking politics with strangers or sending dick pics to strangers (Ted Cruz), it is that great for finding information and figuring out the answer to questions like is Denver a Two Football Team City? First, I needed to gather census data from 1890 onward since no one born before 1890 was a football fan. Make sure you don’t read that as 1980, it’s 1890 like horse was a high brow rich asshole way to travel. Second, I got voter census data from the 29 cities with NFL teams, the next 10 largest metro areas in the US and ten cities that I chose for fan. Here are the absolutely correct results of how many NFL teams each city can support. Any cities that are missing from the list are due to bias in the polling system but for the full list you can venmo me $20 and I’ll make up all the parts that are missing.
||# of NFL Teams it Can Support
||Chili’s per 5,000 residents
|New York City, NY
|Green Bay, WI
|Los Angeles, CA
Right away you will notice some cities jump off the charts. For example, Cheyenne can support NFL teams than Green Bay. Green Bay only has a team because the owners are themselves so they are too lazy to move the team to a real city like shitty Cheyenne. Cheyenne also has the most Chili’s per resident as was registered in this study.
LA can support 4 teams so keep ’em coming, NFL! Los Angeles Jaguars has two nice rings to it – the way it sounds and the Super Bowl ring Blake Bortles will bring them.
Denver can’t quite support two NFL teams, but Nashville can’t quite support one so combined they can support both teams. Rather than have my beloved Tennessee Titans eventually shrivel due to a city that can’t fully support them, I advise that they change the name to the Denver Titans and continue to play all their home games in Nashville. As you’ll see from the data, if we can just get about 1 out of every 5 Broncos fans to switch over to a Titans fan we will have enough Denver Titans fans to fully support the team going forward. Plus, with Denver Real Estate as crazy as it is these days, being able to relocate the Denver Titans to where they currently play in Nashville would be a great move.
Being a facts guy (not a fax guy – see Elvis Dumerville, 2013. Use the contact us feature on this website if you need me to continue explaining this pun), it makes nothing but sense to move the Tennessee Titans to Denver, and have them continue to play their Home games and have training camp in the great state of Tennessee. It will be a boon for the state of Colorado to get income and marijuana tax on the entire Titans Roster, and a nice way to make Denver a more diverse city NFL-wise while giving Nashville the support it needs to stay in the NFL big leagues.
Keep in mind that while Pittsburgh leads the all time series against the Titans, Denver leads that all time series vs Pittsburgh. So that gives the edge to the Denver Titans in Thursday Night’s Color Rush Showdown, Titans vs Steelers heavyweight fight, let’s roll you guys.